5 Ways To Tame The Urge To Be Controlling

Health & Medical Blog

You don't mean to be so annoying, but you always know how to do everything better, quicker, and more effectively. However, you don't want to admit it, but It does hurt when the people you care about roll their eyes when they see you coming. Here are 5 ways to let up and let go.

1. Put yourself in the other person's place.

Some people mistakenly equate docility or passivity with a low IQ. Just because someone isn't arguing with you doesn't mean they aren't too bright. It means they don't think a fight is worth the issue at hand, or they would rather please you than assert themselves. They may even know of a better way to do something that you do, or they may possess information that you don't.

If you don't take the time to look at things from their point of view, you may be missing out on some important impressions. If you do show some empathy and give encouragement,  you will probably be pleasantly surprised with what other people can come up with.

If you empathize with others, you will realize that you wouldn't want to be told what to do all the time either, especially by someone who comes off as a know-it-all or a critic.

2. Pause before saying something.

If you take a minute or two to evaluate the situation, you may find that you really don't need to say anything. In fact, upon some reflection, you might realize that stating your opinion, or telling someone what to do, would only make things worse and/or escalate tension. You will find it helpful to visualize being proud of yourself later for staying quiet and keeping the peace.

3. Find your sense of humor.

If you are willing to laugh at yourself and not take things so seriously, you will enjoy life more. People will be more inclined to listen to you. They may even find your foibles somewhat endearing.

4. Channel that drive into volunteer work or a career that involves organizing, being creative, aiding, or giving advice to people.

There are some occupations where perfectionism and a controlling trait may even be channeled into something worthwhile. These include:

  • social worker,
  • teacher,
  • self employed consultant,
  • mentor to young people,
  • professional organizer,
  • artist,
  • writer,
  • and others.

5. Take a look at your past, and consider counseling to assist you in dealing with it.

You may have grown up in a chaotic household (perhaps because at least one parent had a substance abuse problem), which caused you to desire order, so you became determined to create it wherever you go. Or conversely, you may have had over-controlling parents, and this quality rubbed off on you.

Fear and disturbing thoughts or beliefs may be at the root of your need to control. You may find that confronting your underlying fears through professional counseling will help you to relax and learn to trust others more. For assistance, contact a service like Cancer Lifeline.


20 July 2015